10/14/10

a bird with a french fry, now that's pretty damn nice...


Happy...

The past year has been one of transition and transformation. I went from having everything to having nothing at all and thinking that it would kill me to be left standing naked and cold in a pretty harsh and unforgiving world. I wasn't strong enough to take things day by day, it was more a matter of minute by minute, and all I could think of was where the hell I would be in a year and that it couldn't come fast enough. Logically I knew I would get through it all, (what doesn't kill you.... right?) but my heart wasn't able to follow the bouncing ball and sing along. Losing a marriage (as shitty as it was), a home, a job, leaving all of the beautiful friends I'd come to love over the years, and let's not even talk about my ever faithful dog - was the hardest thing I've ever been through. And let me tell you, I've been through some stuff...
But I did it... I packed up my car, the only thing left to my name, with pretty much just the clothes on my back, and headed home, driving down that freeway just like one half of Thelma and Louise...
So many different ways to describe what home really is, but it's pretty simple when you think about it isn't it? It's that familiar place in your heart and in your life where you go to feel good again, a place where you feel loved and supported and can trust that it's okay to fall apart because those people who love you and support you will be there to help you pick up the pieces. Isn't that really what home is?
So here it is, almost one year later, and I was so busy being happy, and loved, and supported, that I didn't even realize how much time had passed since walking away from everything. Here I am still standing, and standing taller and stronger and more beautiful than ever before in my 44 years. Here I am, still with nothing but the clothes on my back. but feeling happier than I ever felt in the past decade and a half when I had everything.
So really, I have the last laugh when I think about it. Being happier than ever before - with nothing left to lose, nothing left for anyone to take away, except the knowledge that I AM GOOD ENOUGH and always have been.
Now ain't that somethin'?

2 comments:

whitey said...

CAN YOU HEAR ME CLAPPING? You gave me goose bumps! ( can I say that with out sounding weird?) Can not belive it has been a year for you. Hope all is well in Texas and good things to come your way.

tiffany said...

Aw, thanks Whitey! Lotsa love to ya!