What is it about love that makes us want to give ourselves away, throw caution to the wind and lust with wild abandon, even when we feel (or sometimes even know) in our heart of hearts that we will be broken by the time it's all said and done? How is it that we lose ourselves so quickly in the moment, the feeling, the rush of something new and dangerous and beautiful...
Staying true to yourself while loving like crazy, heart and mind co-existing peacefully with each other, trusting but allowing yourself to be swept up in the moment - are these things all realities or are they done with serious smoke and mirrors?
I have always been incredibly passionate about so many things, love definitely being no exception. I feel with every fiber and to the very core of my being, and do not know how to exist in any other way. I have always been the type to see the beauty in danger and tragedy, morbid I know, but it is what it is. My eyes always cast themselves on the deep and dark and mysterious, these including the people I seem to be attracted to, whether sexually or otherwise. When something grabs hold of my soul I always let it, throwing myself into it with everything I have, I'm just not wired to be cautious, but with that comes the feeling of living in perpetual emotional hell because there is always let down after giving all of yourself to something or someone.
So why do I keep hoping for a different outcome when I lend myself to situations which are not capable of producing anything else but the same as always outcomes?
Don't answer that, it's really just a hypothetical question, one I already have the answer to. In all reality I've got all of this well under control, it's just the smoke and mirrors that make it appear otherwise, I swear...
at 10:28 AM